Letter to God

Dear God
How are you doing, am pretty sure you are quite superb since you are God anyway. About me, well, if you were someone else I guess I would have told you that am quite fine, but since you can see right to the deep recesses of my soul, I guess you can tell that things are not very normal there.
I have decided to write to you because in the recent past ive been unable to talk to you, why, coz every time I talk to you I get this feeling that ive been put on voicemail, which I don’t mind since I know you are quite a busy guy and I wouldn’t want to be selfish, but the problem is, when are you ever gonna check your voice messages? My guess is, its either you’ve lost your phone, like I have, you’ve put it of, or you just don’t want to talk to me. So I write for a change, that way ill be sure you’ve gotten it, the rest is up to you.
You see God, you n I come along way and if there is anyone that knows me better that anybody else, it’s probably you. You know what I love n hate most in life, you know my weak and strong points……..

I came across this piece while cleaning my closet, written probably in 2003. I have no idea what I wanted to talk to God about since the letter is clearly incomplete. I just wonder what it was, I wonder why I didn’t finish it. did things suddenly change? did I give up, did I despair? I guess we will never really know.
Sometimes in life we lose faith in everything, everyone, even God. What do we do then? - the warrior of light, Coulo says, always experiences such moments, but unlike everyone else, he takes it as a moment of growth, and he still believes in God, and still abides, if only as of routine, for he knows that the day will surely come, when he will find reason, once again, to believe, and so he must stay on track, he must believe, he must have faith. Have you ever written a letter to God?

Another life

On this day I make a resolve
To reach out for my dreams
To explore my every potential
To take advantage of every opportunity
For tomorrow may never come

On this day I make a resolve
To love n honor family n friends
To be kind n caring to all n sundry
Let the ones I love know I do
For today is all we may have

On this day I make a resolve
To mend my relations with my God
To submit myself to thy will
To live a life worthy of Him
And thank Him for another life

Written after 12th October 2003
Like a candle in the wind, like a silhouette in darkness, like a mirage at day, so are days of our lives

Nada

the truth is.sometimes you do good and good is done to you. sometime you do bad and misfortune comes to you. it is also true that sometimes good people face misfortune and bad people prosper.so it follows therefore that life is not or does not describe a linear function but rather a cubic one. life will screw you, people will let you down, but sometimes they will exceed your expectations. there is no telling. my philosophy has alway been that: LIFE DOES NOT OWE YOU SHIT! so dont nobody screw you up, do not expect anything from people. count only on yourself and expect only from yourself. if others come thro for you, let it be a pleasant surprise, not an expectation. that way you will be at peace with yourself, others and your God

Richly Brewed Coffee

A story is told of this young lovely gal who had everything going on for her till one day she woke up an it was all gone. Suddenly day turned into night, everything went wrong and it seemed as though she had lost everything. So she cried until she could cry no more. Days went by, time matched on, but her life remained full of misery

So one day she woke up and decided that she couldn’t take it anymore. So she went to her dad, who was a chef and told him that she had given up on life. Enough was enough! she said. Her dad listened to her keenly, then asked her to gather three pans, fill them with water, and in one pan, put carrots, in the other, put eggs, and in the other, put coffee. Then he asked her to boil them. After a few minutes, he asked her to tell him what she had observed.

The eggs were pretty fragile before the boiling, she said, but after boiling, they became hardened. The carrots were pretty hard, but after boiling they became softened. And what about the coffee, her dad asked. The coffee was, well, just coffee, but after boiling, it become nicely rich with an alluring aroma

That's how it is my daughter, said her dad. We always go through hard times. It is up to us to either be the egg, which is so fragile, but after going thro hardship, we become cold and hardened and enclosed within ourselves. Or we can be the carrot, acting all tough and strong, till we go thro troubles, then we soften and become vulnerable. We should always aspire to be like coffee, made refined, sweater, better and more desirable by the experiences we go thro. Our experiences should add value to our lives, not make it worse. We should grow thro every one of our experiences.

'That which does not kill you can only make you stronger '- Tupac Amaru Shakur

karma

You know there is no need to stress or trip over getting even, because my life is gilded and grounded…..and I really believe that karma in itself avenges us - Angie Stone

Words from a song that’s a current favorite of mine. Is it really true. Is it true that life unfolds in a karmatic fashion? And just what is karma. Karma is the doctrine of actions and their causal consequences. For those of us who believe in karma, we believe that your present is as a result of your past, and most importantly, your future is determined by your current actions. Common sense really. But isn't it also true that certain situations we find ourselves in cannot be explained by our past? Isn't it also true that we can get away with some of things we do now. A friend of mine calls this buzzer beating: quitting jus before anything goes wrong. The thing about Karma is that it is within us and most importantly, it is independent of us. This means that we cannot beat Karma. We cannot buzzer beat. The good thing is we can let it work for us, by pursuing good causes, then karma will return good effects. And if someone wrongs us, we let karma handle that(okay fine, maybe sometimes they deserve a punch on the nose!). We let karma avenge us.

Pleasure and pain are effects. The fact that they change shows that they depend on causes. This is why you will not experience the pleasure you want unless you create its causes, and you will prevent the suffering that you want to avoid by giving up its causes. As soon as a cause of suffering is inscribed in your mental continuum, you will have to go through its cause and effects whether or not you would prefer to avoid suffering. The effect of harmful actions is based on the intensity of the delusions that motivate them. It also corresponds to the associated cause.

Some people believe in a system of rewards and punishments. That if you do good you get rewarded, if you do bad you get punished. I believe in a system of consequences. If you do good, you get good consequences, if you do bad you get bad consequence. So as much as possible try to do well. Not so much because you expect the same from people, but the more because you owe it to yourself. And if someone wrongs you…do not fret…for Karma will surely avenge you

As the Dalai Lama put it, 'pleasure and pain come from your own past actions. So it is easy to define Karma in one short sentence: Act well, and things will go well,; Act wrongly, and things will go wrong'

Of Fairies and Wishes

Have you ever wanted something so badly you would do any thing to get? That one thing you know shouldn’t mean so much to you but it does. Maybe it’s even bad for you. For each one of us there is always that one thing that you crave for, that which you think about and get the instant desire and need to have. How does that make you feel? A deep hunger, from within your very core. That voice that calls out for you and reminds you of this desire. And when your wish is granted, your juices are raved up, your senses heightened and your being is transformed into a satisfied state, almost as though it was your very reason for living. If only for that one moment.
What is that thing for you? At this very moment as you read this, what is that one wish that you would like to be granted? I don’t know about you. But for me, if I had one wish, one wish at this very moment. If I had a little fairy and she would ask me to make one wish. Id wish for….. A crisp cold bottled coke and a steer’s bugger! Damn I love that

About a Book

The thing about books is that you either love them or you don’t! I love books; I love them a great deal. So every so often I buy myself a book to indulge myself with for the month. i believe that if you really like something then it should be yours. So I buy, I don’t rent or borrow. There is this friend of mine who also loves books. A while back she introduced me to a bookshop that allows you to rent a book for a while, read it and if you really love it and would love to own it, then you can buy it. I have never taken up the offer. The book is either yours or its not. Period.
A while back a lovely book landed in my hands, wasn’t mine, but I liked it anyway. The kind of book you actually need to read a few pages before deciding whether it’s worth reading further. Everything about the book was lovely:, the cover, the title, the scent it gave when the pages are turned…..totally of the chain. So I said to myself. I cannot judge a book by its cover, ill read a few pages, then ill decide whether it’s worth the time.
The story had a lovely and captivating beginning. The kind that engages you, sends you on a trance, and keeps you hungering for more. So I turned the pages eagerly. Its story fascinated and occupied my whole day. The second chapter was not so interesting, I must admit, but I had faith, that if only I could get past this chapter, I would enjoy reading the rest of it. Then the night came, and I had to sleep. As usual, I reluctantly put the book beside my bed, and went to sleep, wishing the night would be short so I would wake up and continue with my reading.
Work up in the morning, reached out for the book but it wasn’t there! It just wasn’t there! I couldn’t believe it, I actually still think its either a long bad dream and that ill wake up for real and find the book where I left it but….it just aint there
Will I see the book again? Will I get a chance to finish reading it? I don’t know. I certainly hope so, but am not crossing my fingers on that
In the meantime am gonna call my friend and am gonna tell her: the book is either yours, or not. So ill stick to my bookshop, where they don’t ask you to try out the book before buying. You either buy or you don’t

be like a pencil

the pencil has five qualities which if you hang onto, will make you a person at peace with yourself and the world.first-you are capable of great things, but must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. we call that hand God, and He always guides us acording to His will.second-now and then, you will be sharpened. that will make you sharper.that makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he is much sharper. so you too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.we are not judged by what we go thro, we are judged by how we go thro them,and most importantly what we become in the process,always remember that.third-the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rum out any mistakes.this means that we are alowed to make mistakes, it makes us human, but most importantly, we should correct these mistakes.fourth- what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. so always pay attention to what is happening inside you.guard, it, protect it.finally-the pencil always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action. do not do anything that will live a mark you are going to regret. and always remember, the past never really goes away, you just learn to live with it.with every passing moment you make a past, make it such that you can live with it in the future

Ish ish kinda, eventually, probably, soonish? - Totally Grey

Is life in black and white, or does it come in sheds of grey? Will you do it, or will you probably do it? If you gonna do it, are you gonna do it at a certain time t or are you gonna do it eventually or probably soonish. Or maybe you just not sure, so it’s an ish ish kinda thing huh.

If you asked me, life comes in both black and white and in sheds of grey. There are certain things in life for which there is no clear answer, no clear position to take. For such kinda stuff, I guess its ok to approximate, to work on a balance of probability. You see the difference between uncertainty and risk is the difference between jumping off a 30 floor building, and bunji jumping! In one, there is a strong string tied to your back so the only risk is whether the string will work or not, which is a measurable, predictable and controllable risk. But its fun, it keeps you on the edge, raves up your juices. I mean who wants to know everything that’s gonna happen tomorrow. That’s pretty boring

For certain things in life, though, you have to be certain, you have to be exact and clear about your position. To be or not to be, that is the question.

So life comes as a rich and colorful mix of black and white and grey. A function with a variable and a constant, with the variable having more weight. The result? Rather than a life modeled around deterministic principles, we end up with a stochastic variable, the lays call it fate – ish ish kinda, will love you eventually, probably soonish!

Keyword-STOCHASTIC

Partially random or uncertain, not continuous; a stochastic variable is neither completely determined nor completely random; in other words, it contains an element of probability. A system containing one or more stochastic variables is probabilistically determined.

The Tragedy Of Dreams

The amazing thing about the youth in this country their passion for work, the depth of their intelligence, their desire to make money, their entrepreneurial spirit, their creativity and much more.Sometimes I ask myself whether this country is ready for the youth it has now, whether its ready to harness the immense potential they possess, whether it is ready for entrepreneurship. In a classical society, the youth grow up, with dreams and aspirations shaped by their heroes, their role models. People who have trodden down roads they want to pursue. If I was in the states I would admire Gates or Steve Jobs (apple computers-yes of the iPod craze) or even Trump. The tragedy of our youth is that they lack such role models. Yes, we definitely have people who have amassed great material wealth. But have they the spiritual depth that can inspire the youth, isn’t it true that all they have is high profile connections and corrupt schemes. Are the youth expected to be inspired to be corrupt?’ No one makes it in Kenya if the play straight’. Isn’t that what every one says?

Encouragingly, some of us have decided to take the road list travelled. Increasingly the new generation of youths is exploring creative, innovative and novel ways of developing themselves. What some aspiring entrepreneurs have done would transform them into billionaires if they were in a country like America. Think of products like graduates.com, afrogle.com, stockskenya.com etc. think of the many youth with the capacity to develop high end application software, offer above board IT solutions. Think of the dude who makes animations for adverts (have you seen the kayamba Africa video!!), the graffiti artists, the likes of home boyz, etc.

There is really nothing so amazingly creative about myspace.com or youtube.com. If those dudes were in Kenya I doubt they would have made an impact. They just happened to be at the write place at the right time. So are we, in Kenya, at the right place at the wrong time? Or maybe at the wrong place at the right time! We live I a country when some 50 year old asks for a payroll soft ware and expects it for free. Why? Coz you are young, don’t need money, and its just software! Were people expect websites to be developed for 30K but must look like, and have the same functionality as the eBay site! We are just not ready for the energy and brilliance that our generation has to offer.

The other day me and a friend of mine, who happens to be highly entrepreneurial were joking that maybe we should stop developing high end IT solutions and instead, go back to agriculture, buy matatus or just open a retail and whole sale shop. After all we live in a society were a product is a product if it can be touched, felt and maybe eaten-food, shelter and clothing: a basic needs society that stifles our creativity and kills our dreams- the tragedy of our dreams

Self Worth

Have you ever asked yourself what your self worth is.forget the deep stuff about who you really are bla bla, though thats the most important. but let talk money.is it jus me or is everyone, new in the job market feeling me on this: that employers are out to rip us off, that they take advantage of our vulnerabilities, expect us to outdo ourselves at work, while they compete and boast about who is most efficient at cutting costs(read underpaying employees) seriously the paycheck most of these big organizations offer reads like a stale joke! so i propose that we evaluate our selves.identify our skills strenghths and uniqueness and quantify that in monetary terms and not settle for anything less than that.suicidal? maybe, its your call at the end of the day

Thursday

There has been a crazy within the corporate circles going under the buzzword 'corporate social responsibility'.under this banner, companies have been falling over themselves to give to society, to be responsible citizens. it is a good thing if you ask me, especially when you consider the huge figures allocated for this course by the likes of safaricom and KCB, and most importanly the many lives it has touched.has this generous gesture been well received. mostly yes. but cynics will be quick to say that it is nothing but a publicy stunt, a marketing strategy. my position is: as long as it puts a smile on a sad mothers face, clothing on a naked child, a room on a homeless family, who cares what the motivation is.

but about personal social responsibility. ever asked yourself how you can give back to society.how you can do better than drop a coin in a beggers cup? i always hoped for the day when i would have the resources, the time and the capacity to give back to society, and wondered when that day would come. one fine morning, while going thro my regular duties in the hospital, i was introduced to a group that calls itself thursday. this is a group of 23 female medical students who have come together to make a difference to society.their objective at the time was to source for funds and donate cancer medicines to children of ward 1E(Childrens cancer ward-kenyatta national hospital)how i thought to myself,you are just students and cancer medicine is obnoxiously expensive! but the passion and dedication that was in them got them to put a smile on those beautiful children. thurday members forgo their luch every thursday as and dedicate the proceeds to a charitable course, they help their needy classmates, support the bereived, contribute to children homes....they basically touch peoples lives, in their own siple ways, with limited resources. they touched my life too, in more ways than one, they challenged and inspired me, and made me realize that all we ever have is excuses,in our own little and simple ways, we can touch a needy persons life, we can be responsible citizens.